向左走，向右走？

从中一起，就与几位好友立志要考得上。不知觉间，大家一起经历了许多风风雨雨。很多人事物，也随着时间转变。四年了，我现在站在一个十字路口上，以为可以鼓起勇气，擦干泪水，继续往前走。可是，不知从什么时候，它变成了我的累赘，我对它开始厌倦了。没关系，我还是告诉自己，为了自己，为了他人，继续往前走。慢慢的，感觉心力交瘁，越来越力不从心。但是停下脚步想想，我现在的身份，真的容许我做出选择？想了又想，哭了又哭，到头来还是得不到我要的答案。就因为无法释怀，这件事缠绕了我许久，多么的想抛开它，很可惜我做不到。此时此刻，已经到了必须果断地做出决定的时候。可笑的是，我的心，还是七上八下，久久未能平复，感觉压力得很，是自己施给自己的压力。就这样目瞪口呆地，眺望着茫然的远方，迷惘的前路。

也不知道多少天了，我不停地告诉自己不要放弃。。。不要放弃。。。不要放弃。。。不要放弃。。。不要放弃。。。不。。。要。。。放。。。弃。原来，我没有做出这个决定的勇气。怕后悔，怕遗憾，怕面对，怕承担。又原来，我是一只比宿头乌龟都不如的人。我很累。

依然站在分叉路口的我，到底应该，向左走，向右走？

皇家女童军，对我而言，是何物？

:'(.................................

-失去方向的有心人-

=(

When will I ever see through the veil?

When will the facade end?

When will the masks unravel?

When will naive me see this world as it really is?

Sighs.

Complicated.

=)

It's not that disappointing afterall =). I find back my way in guides, the spirit in guides. Finally, i'm no longer despairing.

Cheerios =)

-MT-

Some people are just hypocrites.
Bloody hypocrites. ><

=D

Even with only the four of us, today's meeting was damn noisy and definitely funny. =D

Furthermore, you guys actually agreed with the crazy ideas I proposed.

Love you guys. ;)

My sub-commander, first-aider and quarter master ^^.

I reply MT and add more stuff

Why didn't I think of writing here instead of squishing everything into the cbox. OK, now to continue.

Yes! What we want is to bring the fun in guiding back. Since when has everything started revolving around badges and exams? (not that they're not important since I am taking QG as well) Since when have we stopped goofing off and tried to act serious? Why are there so many meaningless projects coming? And, since it's private let me just rant out a bit, why are the names so NOT catchy? Ascension of the phoenix? Still ok, though not catchy la. Unlock the Epoch? ..... I'm not even sure what epoch means? past? present? any timeline? Epoch =Ipok?== And Black Jack as the night gathering theme? This is not prom la! Aiyoh! Even if black jack is also called 21, the main focus is our night gathering, which I don't think even has 10 years of history. Black Jack gives me the impression of tuxes, rollette wheels....gambling!

Ok, back to the topic. Where is the fun? I want water balloons! I want us to just laze around and crap! Heck, working would be fine too if we could go wild while doing it. Sighs, makes me miss BRATs so much. We were doing our assignments halfway and my group decided to camwhore. Causing a chain reaction that ended up in a group pic of us all.^^

So to my permit ppl.Though none of you will see this== since it's private and all and you're not invited readers, I still write it and I may say this again on Monday at our meeting. My sub-kem, you guys are the best people I could ever choose to work with. Sure you guys aren't COH(except Jia). You all never experienced what the COH did. SO what? I can work well with you all and that's what matters? I remember during a meeting on Friday. Jie Min wanted to see me and Sonia's members. Sonia wanted to take one of us(Thank god that never happened) but Jie Min said we were just right, we weren't that good also. As Li Lin said, she might jsut be helping us from being separated or she might really think that. But, I think it's not about how good the people are initially, it's about how you bring out their talents and apply them properly. And I couldn't have asked for better comrades. We will rock, ok guys? We will laugh throughout the camp and get everything done with thorough efficiciency! I will try my best to make sure of that. You guys will fall victims to the Algorithm March!!! And I need to get maskin tape! =D We will be so high, sleep will be a burden==. We will speak different languages each day, force feed the leftovers to whoever didn't finish their work in time and most importantly, we MUST be happy.

I mean, what's that much to gloat about if I pass permit and you all never had any fun in the process? I would still fail as a leader if you all suffered to achieve my goals. As I''m the ONE asking YOU guys to help me. I should at least make it worth your trouble. I still want water balloons. No thinking required. Fill up balloon. Throw. Run. Damn whoever restricts this. (yeah, i know who it is) *whistles*

If we succeed, karaoke then?

<3 you guys. But please, don't cause me trouble too. It's a mutual thing, alright?

Zhi Min

Lost Generation- Jonathan Reed

'I realise this may be a shock but

"Happiness comes from within"

is a lie, and

"Money will make me happy"

So in 30 years I will tell my children

they are not the most important thing in my life.

My employer will know that

I have my priorities straight because

work

is more important than

family

I tell you this

Once upon a time

Families stayed together

but this will not be true in my era

this is a quick fix society

Experts tell me

30 years from now I will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my divorce

I do not concede that

I will live in a country of my own making

In the future

Environmental destruction will be the norm

No longer can it be said that

My peers and I care about this earth

It will be evident that

My generation is apathetic and lethargic

It is foolish to presume that

There is hope.



And all of this will come true unless we choose to rewrite it.

(now read backwards :P)

See guys, we can make a change. It's just a matter of how you look at things.We will not be the lost generation!

I'm so sorry, trefoil blog. Have been neglecting you all this time T-T

I just realised that I'm supposed to write.

Let's just say it this way. I don't like the way the society is working by I don't hate it so vehemently that I'd want to write about it in public, so there.

I don't believe that we have more political feuds than other societies, let alone the others have none. The hierachy has many loopholes to fill, but there's one big rock that holds everything into place despite all our efforts to change, hindering our actions. (Think a little. It's not hard)

If you hate about a society so badly, just don't care about it anymore. There's no point in writing a blog about it, condemning it in public. You can complain to friends in private but let's keep it at that, shall we?

I was in before I knew what was really going on and now I wanted out. Anyone care to take over? I shall let go of everything that I have with no regrets. Not ever.

I have to admit, I'll never love any society as much as I once did Guides. Yet at least I shall never feel as disappointed as I do now.

Let's leave it at that, shall we?

Puppets

Yes, again about the Court of (Dis) Honour.

If the COH are getting so busy this year, why can't you let the other people have a say in it?

If the COH are the ones doing all the planning, those who know what's going on, those who control, what are the rest?

Mere slave puppets that come and go at your every whim?

Only at times when you need people to carry this, people to donate that, people to work that, do the rest come into mind.

The sad thing about this, it seems to mostly apply to our batch, as we have the most number of members, more"extras".

Join to learn leadership, discipline etc etc. Who learns? Did we have a choice?

Lyn, the PB isn't the only one who has the " It's your fault for not showing your talent out" mentality.

Without all these slaves members, then we really will crumble to the ground.

You won't get things done. Nothing will succeed.

And then I shall kick the rumble of our fallen foundation and smile wryly at your incompetence.

I'm sure I wrote something about this in my space before-same title. But that was a poem, this is all said out nice and clearly for you, no thinking required.

Oh yes, Worm, you said your plan couldn't go on because of all the incoming projects. Then why is it always the same people doing it??

First thing that needs change:

HIERARCHY

Or no requirement of one.

Yes, I'm pissed. Don't ask why.

Wait, DO ask.

Quote from last year, while walking out of school:

ZM: I love guides but I hate the people there."

JL: I love the people there but I hate guides."

==

Excerpts from Emails(2)

Since a certain author never posted her email, I'll do it on her behalf =D:(with some alterations done la)

About the guides, not that i wan to control. every1 of us know there's a problem inside. if now we dont do something, how should we survive when we are in form 5? how should we survive without our seniors? i can just dun do anything and just sit there, watching this becoming worse n worse, bt i know i cant. That day i quit prefect because of guides, the main reason is prefect takes a lot of my time. i chose to leave my friends n cried because of guides. from form 1 til now, i know all of us loves guides. its just something happen inside that made us become kecewa. then we all will have no heart for guides soon.

i won 't want to control n i dun like b controlled too. I'm a human like u all, i will still have the same feeling with u all. in f4, i can c that everybody has their own talent. n of course, sometimes we might not c it. the relations between us is good, we can play, we can talk. but cum to work, we cn do together, but we cant do well. u n lyn aso know what makes this happen. 1st, we r too dependent. when a problem cum, 1st thing cum to our mind is nvm, there r sum ppl that wil solve it, wun die d. u would say i'm a optimistic, bt i wil see wat case is that. then, we din reli think about a problem deeply n find the way to solve, thats why problem will never b solved.

i appreciate all f4 guides. they r definitely good n friendly. bt f4 d u know? we need to grow up n no more only enjoy n play everyday. i know study is important, even mine do so. if i din study well, there's no chnce for me to continue study after f5. my family wun afford to pay, even my big bro d they aso cnt afford. so at last, i will still set my study for the 1st place. bt we r in badan uniform, such a big society n always appear in the national level. even if dun lik guides, there's something call responsibility as being a guide. what i wan is just kerjasama from everybody n the main thing, semangat. jus simple as that.

who will let the society u joined die on your hand? i waited, i waited a chance to make u all wake up. finally, the thinking day project cum. i tot that would b the chance, but later on there lots of projects cuming none stop. i dun wan to force u all cos everybody already being so stress of it. i jus wan to let u all noe, pls pls pls stand up. its correct, we r jus a society wif all the girls. bt god din say girls cnt do things! how cum those grls in other society cn do well bt nt us? everybody of us cn b the leader, even u cn b, its jus dat u wan or nt.
i hope u all wil understand wat i mean n i hope i cn help u all. i wil always stand here n waiting u all cum back.

Excerpts from Emails(1)

Me and Alicia were emailing and somehow the subject of Guides came up so..here's what I have to say

Control us? Who's us? I mean, no matter where you bring it, it always comes back to those same people - the COH. That's one flaw in our system. Not that I am underestimating our batch's COH or anything but don't people need a chance too? Look at our year's BSMM, or any other uniform body for that matter, their comradeship highly outweighs us. We've been separated so fast. At the end of Form 2, there was already these 2...2..2...communities, divided into the Court of (Dis)Honour and those not privileged, skilled or outgoing enough to be in it. I was so naive last time, just going on about as a little fresh new guide, doing what's planned, never questioning, never going further. Le Yi used to ask why am I so obsessed with Guides last time. lol= = Then, the AGM occurred and the dividing line on our batch was drawn. And my perspective changed. The feeling of it all changed. That innocence was never there anymore.I guess this is the start of our political feud. What makes us different from the others is our amount, look, all seniors we seen before us never had this many members so they knew each other better, worked better together and had more fun together(created more conflicts too). With our numbers, it seems harder but it can be accomplished, yet we failed at this. When have we done anything as one batch, hanged out as a batch, faced our troubles as a batch or accomplished anything as a batch? Answer- Never. I asked you whether we had any photos signifying our batch, what was your answer? No. I think you would have read Yu Song's post with all those photos. Reality or an exxageration, they really seem very united. Why aren't we?

The First Step

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Authors,

I do not want an empty or dead blog!!!

That is all.